I wanna

If you go to www.wordle.net, you can make word clouds out of any words you want. You can also type in your blog url and it will make one out of the words used in your blog. So I did it for this one. The bigger the word, the more time's you've used it. Seems like I "wanna" a lot...

Your Mistake- Sister Hazel

Just when you think you're over someone, songs like this pop up and scream, "THIS IS HOW YOU'RE REALLY FEELING!!!" This one hits it right on.

Your Mistake
Sister Hazel

I'm not right
I'm not fine
I wanna be rain
That tastes like wine
I wanna be good
I wanna be great
I wanna be everything
Except for your mistake

Send me inside your mind
I wanna know what you're thinking
This time, I'll try to be the one
You always thought you knew
It's true, I'm blue, and without you

I'm not right
I'm not fine
I wanna be rain
That tastes like wine
I wanna be good
I wanna be great
I wanna be everything
Except for your mistake

Let me into your view
I wanna know how you see this thing
That us, I must keep managing
My madness over you
Its true, I'm blue, and without you

I'm not right
I'm not fine
I wanna be rain
That tastes like wine
I wanna be good
I wanna be great
I wanna be everything
Except for your mistake

I don't want your sympathy, just understanding
And we'd be better off if I just took some time
To try to understand you

I'm not right
I'm not fine
I wanna be rain
That tastes like wine
I wanna be good
I wanna be great
I wanna be everything
Except for your mistake

I'm not right
I'm not fine
I wanna be rain
That tastes like wine
I wanna be seen
I wanna get clean
I wanna just fall out of in between

I'm not right, I'm not right
I don't wanna be your mistake

Love Stinks. Nuff said.

Once was lost...

I'm really struggling. So much so that I can't even find a song that can encompass it all. I'm struggling with things I can't even tell my friends. My friends! Of all people... and they're such amazing people to put up with all of my crap. I can't talk to anyone. I've even tried talking to God. I'm not sure even He can provide relief from this mess.

And it's all self-inflicted too.

I could put a stop to all of it. I could. It's technically within my power to do so.

But I can't... and I don't know why. Perhaps because it means giving up things... giving up people... who I don't want to give away. Even if they aren't righfully mine to begin with... Maybe it's not so much that I have to give them away. Maybe it's more that I'm angry that I can't keep them, that they don't want to be kept.

If the things in my life are stuck in an extended stall pattern, it only seems fair that the people I love be stuck with me. It's not fair that their lives up and take wings and leave me stranded, looking up at their bright possibilities and looking down at my feet cemented in the muck.

But I know that's selfish.

Maybe I just need to find a way to say goodbye. Maybe I was never meant to take wing. Maybe my place is in the muck.

Word Cloud

What's Your Seduction Style?

Why Not Me- The Judds

Listen to the song here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjjv_EemeEY

You've been lookin' for love all around the world
Baby, don't you know this country girl's still free?
Why not me?
Well, you've finally come down to your old hometown
Your kentucky girl's been waiting patiently
Why not me?

Why not me on a rainy day?
Why not me to love your cares away?
Why not me?
Why not me when the nights get cold?
Why not me when you're growin' old?
Why not me?

You've been searchin' from here to singapore
Ain't it time that you notice the girl next door, baby
Why not me?
You had to see if the world was round
It's time that you learned how good settlin' down could be
Why not me?

Why not me on a rainy day?
Why not me to love your cares away?
Why
not me?
Why not me when the nights get cold?
Why not me when you're
growin' old?
Why not me?

You've been lookin' for love all around the world
Baby, don't you know this country girl's still free?
Baby, why not me?

So, I guess this one pretty much speaks for itself. I get compliments from friends and family and coworkers, "You're so smart!" "You're so pretty!" "You don't have anything to worry about!" "You'd be a catch for any man!" "You're so talented!"

And I'm still single. Not for lack of trying... or looking... and I even stopped looking for a long time under the pretense that when you least expect it, the thing you're looking for will present itself. I say, PROVE IT! Even the "potentials" give me the sweet compliments and subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) flatteries... followed by my LEAST favorite three letter word, "but." From the potentials, I get, "You're beautiful and talented and funny and smart and everything any man should be proud of... BUT..."

BUT WHAT????

Ugh... I just don't get it.